So as part of my application for permanent residency in Australia, I had to get a police check. The process was pretty simple. I just had to send off a short form, about fifty bucks and a photocopy of my American passport to the Australian Federal Police. About a week later, I got this report back in the mail:

Australian Federal Police: Helping Immigrants Forge False Identities One Document at a Time

Remember, I sent them my American passport. Maybe they’re just trying to get another fifty bucks out of me by sending me worthless documents. Hooray for bureaucracy! (Or should I say … bureauCRAZY! ho ho ho …)