Here’s something special for my friends faraway who find themselves missing my visage, or for strangers I don’t know who are looking for a disguise to help them commit a harmless, victimless, non-violent crime which will not have any serious repercussions or cause any damage and possibly isn’t even illegal in the first place.

I feel that it is something that dudes can use to pick up ladies and ladies can use to scare away dudes. It is something that will make you feel like I never need to visit you again. In fact, it may make you strongly hope that is the case.

Is it an April Fool’s Joke that went too far, or a flash of brilliance that went just far enough? Either way, here it is:

The Furious White Boy Mask
Furious White Boy Mask
(click for a life-size, printable version that you can wear … or don’t!)

There are a lot of fun things to do with masks, even masks of me.
*You could hand them out to kids as toys!
*You could put on a play!
*You could stage a practical joke and blame it on me!
*You could rob a bank and blame it on me (but not really)!
*You could have your Halloween costume ready MONTHS in advance!
*You could hang it in your bedroom as a reminder of my hard-knuckled friendship.
*You could hang it outside your door to tell crooks to GET OUT!
*Or you could just draw some circles on it and make it into a fun dart board!

But whatever you do, make sure you stay on the RIGHT side of the mask. It can be a pretty potent thing!
scaredmask.jpg
Yikes!

Just keep my eyes of rage facing away from you, and you’ll be just fine!
maskhappy1.jpg
That’s much better!

For my friends and family, I hope this makes you miss me less (assuming you have missed me at all!).
For strangers and mask-lovers, I hope this makes you not act out terrible things while wearing my face.